A version of this article is cross-posted here.
I read some fluff. I encountered the term “vajazzling” when I happened across this video. The definition is something like “Swarovoski crystals on my vajayjay.” Let me attempt to translate that: someone put little expensive sparkly crystals on a woman’s vagina. Wait… Did they use kind of surgical adhesive? Is it permanent genital modification? Piercing? What size crystals are we talking about here? Inside? WTF?
I found this site claiming genesis of vajazzling:
Accessorizing your privates is the hottest rage. From crystal flowers to customized favorites, you too can now decorate your own jewels. Whether it’s a special occasion or you just want to sparkle everywhere, you can choose from an assortment of real Swarovski crystal designs so you can shimmer and shine.
Amazon has an image of a crystal temporary tattoo. I have no idea if this is what is used in vajazzling, but it’s probably something similar. Imagine a glittery crystal fountain near your urethra…
Our society needs to loosen up about how we discuss girly bits (and man bits, for that matter). Many people use the term “vagina,” when they actually mean something else, like labia or vulva. Both “vulva” and “vagina” were probably too racy for television. We are left with “vajayjay,” which leads to confusion about where she placed the adornments. The Urban Dictionary definition of the term “vajayjay” is “vagina.” I don’t think the crystals actually go inside the vaginal sheath, and further research points to the probability that this usage of vajayjay actually means “labia” (majora, I would hope…). Based solely on personal anecdotal evidence, I suspect there are no crystals anywhere inside the Cleft of Venus. That leaves the remainder of the exterior vulva available for adornment.
Humans evolved hidden estrus. This means that females don’t exhibit obvious biological signs of fertility (or its attendant sexual receptivity), and this keeps the males guessing about the best time to mate (assuming the goal is to produce offspring). Hidden estrus may have fostered pair bonding and other monogamous mating patterns, increasing the odds that the male was the biological father of the offspring. I saw one source that claims that while human males initiate sexual intercourse throughout a woman’s cycle, females tend to initiate more frequently during ovulation. This makes perfect sense in the hidden estrus paradigm.
The sparkly crystal genital adornment practice reminds me of visible signs of estrus in non-human primates, where females are obviously receptive and males compete for access. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Regular readers already know that I love vaginas and other awesome girly bits. I don’t think they require any sort of decorative embellishments. I am disturbed to not that genital plastic surgery is on the rise. (Procedures include labial tinting to mimic arousal.) I can understand surgery in the case of disorder or injury or to repair the horrific trauma of mutilation. I have trouble understanding how women who fall in the wide spectrum of “normal” human variation would feel compelled to seek genital cosmetic surgery.
What I really find puzzling is the desire to display estrus at all. Especially if the males typically initiate sex throughout the female cycle. Particularly with stick-on glittery stuff. Again (anecdotal, small sample size) human males tend to be receptive to female initiation of sex. Most women don’t need to bling up the holiest of holy places to attract a mating partner. Is this about the males competing for access to the crystal yoni? Or female competition? Or status?
What I find incredibly fascinating is that this particular type of estrus display requires women to publicly broadcast its occurrence. We mostly wear clothing in public, and vulval adornment is typically hidden from view–like hidden estrus.
The women who get this done MUST know that generally men don’t give a hoot what sparkly bits they have there. Really? Right? Please restore my faith in humanity….
All I can wonder is how those sparkley bits would chafe.
HAHAHAHA! Okay…. my boyfriend just pointed out that it may be a good defense (or revenge) from his beard-stubble when he’s down there. There, that’s a reason.
Seriously, I don’t get adding sparkly bits, but I’m not much into sparkly things. Or dressing up something that’s already quite awesome. But, to each her own?
It would only indicate estrus if it were systematically applied/exposed at the height of fertility, and if the male were aware of the connection. So they are not “displaying estrus at all,” they are just drawing attention to themselves. In fact wearing earrings would be a better indicator of estrus if it correlated with perfectly with fertility.
So yes it is adornment that serves many purposes, none of which have to do with estrus.
Thanks for the comments!
Harolddd: Clearly more research is needed. Perhaps the sparklies stay on full-time and are only displayed to potential mates during times of sexual receptivity and/or fertility? I really don’t know…. I am curious about what many other purposes vajazzling might serve. And, estrus or not, I think it’s really interesting to think about why women might add sparkle to their vulvas.
I have to agree with Harolddd I don’t see what it has to do with oestrus, rather it just seems to be adornment. From that point of view it would be similar to lingerie or anything else nice that isn’t seen. Anecedotally, most women I know wear lacy underwear because they enjoy it and like having pretty things, not to show to men.
On the naming, I’d never heard of vajayjay until vajazzling came out, it seems to be a US thing. When discussing what to teach our small children to say a large group of women agreed on vagina. We knew it should probably be vulva but vagina just seemed to be more common. Penis and testicles are so much easier!
I dislike that people object so much to this kind of thing. Of course women decorate their outer vulva and they don’t have to just do it when they’re sexually receptive. We wear make up on our faces, we wear pretty clothing, we do all kinds of things to draw the attention of the opposite sex. It is ok to do these things and criticizing each other for it is probably more harmful than not. It is not abnormal to decorate our bodies.
Other cultures have certainly genital decor, emphasizing the penis and labia for a variety of reasons, often related to fertility.
Also, while the vulva is hidden to the public, there are many situations in which we don’t hide it. Sometimes when I perform, my vulva is in clear view and is the first thing people look at. I have never thought about putting jewels on it, but I don’t think it is a bad idea, either. I put jewels on other places on my body when I’m performing on stage, why not my vulva?
All that being said, I do get really annoyed when people mess up anatomical references for their genitals. I think it is important for us to know our body parts and to know them well and if we go to a clinic and need to talk about something with our doctor, it is not helpful to him when we say things incorrectly. I also hate the term vajayjay and I think Oprah should do penance to the rest of the world for popularizing it.
Also, I can’t say for sure how these actual marketed vulva gems work, but the gems I use on my body are simply glued on using a non-latex eyelash glue. I can pretty much put them anywhere using that. I know other girls often use spirit gum for the same thing.
oops, missed a word:
“Other cultures have certainly genital decor, emphasizing the penis and labia for a variety of reasons, often related to fertility.”
should say:
“Other cultures have certainly used genital decor, emphasizing the penis and labia for a variety of reasons, often related to fertility.”
I totally agree that it’s normal to do all kinds of things to draw sexual attention to ourselves, and to wear pretty things for our own pleasure. I think Nicole above expressed it really well when she said,
“Seriously, I don’t get adding sparkly bits, but I’m not much into sparkly things. Or dressing up something up something that’s already quite awesome. But to each her own?”
I’m curious about how many of these behaviors were initially or still are related to sex and to sexual receptivity. For example, is makeup that makes the eyes look wider and the lips look fuller considered attractive in our culture in part because this look mimics arousal? I’m also curious about when in our ancestral species’ evolutionary history these behaviors firs emerged.
i really want a man to put them on me